Gimme, Gimme MORE...

 

LEFT: Sign for MORE RIGHT: Kevin's sign for MORE

(Again neither of these babies are Kevin. I apologize if its your kid. If you don't like it, stop placing pictures of your baby on Google where anyone can use it. xoxo)

Over the years I have come in contact with a few babies that have had an extremely rough time communicating. Most recently was Kevin. His behavior became erratic when his intelligence surpassed his ability to communicate with us at around 14 months. Banging his head against the floor or wall, pulling out his hair, throwing things, screaming uncontrollably, and spitting were becoming a regular occurrence. It was exhausting for everyone involved. After several conversations with Kevin’s mom, she decided that this was not getting any better and took the next step: seeing a behavior specialist. The doctor said pretty much exactly what we were expecting, but her advice was shockingly simple. “Start with MORE”. What exactly does that mean you ask? More sleep? More pacifier? Nope, just simply the word ‘More”. She taught us the sign for ‘more’, which thankfully was part of my college education, (See I am actually applying things I learned in school to my life! Who would’ve thunk.) and sent us on our way with this weeks homework. See the word ‘more’ is best to start with because babies always want more of something. And, well, it is the easiest to control. Think Pavlov’s Dogs. You do want I want, you get what you want, we all celebrate, every one is happy.

Now when Kevin sat in his highchair he only received one slice of banana or three cheerios at a time. Neither lasted long and soon enough he would want more. Surprised and gleefully we would say “Oh, you want MORE?!?”. He would continue screaming as we did the sign with a smile on our Mother Ease faces and then put his little hands together to make the sign as well. And then magically he would get what he wanted! The doctor said this would need an average of 40,000 repetitions in order to stick. Awesome. So every few bites we said “more” at every meal until BOOM!… Kevin did it himself! ‘More' meant food to him but who cares! He could tell us what he wanted! Within a week he could sign MORE, WATER, PACIFIER, and shake his head NO.  You can’t even imagine how exciting this is until you go through it yourself. (*Don't worry if the sign is "accurate" or if the baby is making up his own signs; Go along with it!! As long as you both understand what it means, who cares?!?)

Today we took him back to the Speech Pathologist. She was delighted by his improvement; he only banged his head on the floor twice in the hour session. She had more homework for us and said a ton of information that I will simplify into a list for you.

• Cut the “wa-wa” and the “goo-goo gaga”. I never do this because my mother always hated “baby talk” but it is not just her preference, by one there is no baby talk allowed. That doesn’t mean to stop using that innate Mother Ease sing-song voice that we have. That voice means “Hey! Listen up”  to babies and can stay a little while longer but encouraging them to say words incorrectly is not helping anyone. Plus it sounds dumb.
• Show him that MORE applies to more than food. Place him in a bathtub with no water and say “Uh Oh! What’s wrong?!” Eventually he’ll point to the faucet. Celebrate! Fill the tub a little at a time and in between each time say “More?!?” and wait for him to say/sign “More”. Apply the same concept to blocks, puzzles, toys, etc.
• Incorporate new signs and words. “SHOE! Oh Yay! SHOE!” It may take 15 minutes to put his shoes on playing a shoe game but you are instilling incentive for him to say the word SHOE! Which may mean he wants to play the shoe game or go outside. You are now down to 50/50 chance, which is pretty damn good.
• Don’t anticipate needs or desires. This is tough. It comes so naturally for us to know his schedule. He wakes up and wants UP. He points at a banana, he is hungry. But he can’t have either until he specifically asks for it.
• From now on there are no longer books with stories, until he has single words and sounds, only sounds and simple words exist. The cow is not standing in the barn with a baby cow. That page is now “MOO! MOO!”  Remember we are forming building blocks for speech. Once he gets MOO he can learn COW and only then can the “cow say moo”.
• Read the same few books every day. And by read, I still mean point at pages while continually repeating sounds and simple words. Sounds exciting, huh?
• Do not encourage tantrums. He gets 30 seconds of “Oh no, you’re not happy” and then that’s done with. Put him down and start to play with a truck or a book until he wants to join in on the party.
• Think FUNCTION!! Starting with BLUE or RED wont help the cause. Kevin has no application for these words yet. PUSH or VROOM for ‘Pushing the car’ or UP will help clear the frustration.
• If you say “Good Job!” put a quarter in a jar. Why? Because WTF does “Good Job” mean to a baby? Instead say “Great Asking!” or “Good Talking!”

Basically, you’re life is about to get amazing. Your brain may turn to mush and you will plead for adult conversations. Your partner will be thrilled to come home and hear you talking non-stop for an hour about how you pushed a red plastic truck around all day saying "VROOM!". But at the end of the day we are teaching a child to talk... only so we can pray he will shut up someday.




Here is a fantastic website with pictures and videos of baby signs:
http://www.babysignlanguage.com/