Ten Things...

 Be The Best Nanny  released a list of the top ten things your nanny will never tell you.

I decided to respond.


1. Nannies are not your maid.

To a certain extent, nannies feel the responsibility/want to clean up around the areas the child has destroyed but no, we're not maids. This is not the Real Housewives of Miami, we do not clean out your closet. Most of my families luck out because I'm a complete OCD neat freak when it comes to certain things but I have actually been reprimanded in the past for cleaning up. If you expect your nanny to deep clean, you need to have that conversation at the interview. Like cooking, some nannies might not be into it.

2. Nannies need a vacation.

Yes! Here's my issue. I'm "part time" with 2 families but really I see one family 5 days a week (every morning at 6:45am) and the other 3 (normally Tues, Thursday, and Friday). A vacation would be amazing and a possibly once a year paid vacation would probably bring me to tears. It’s easy for nannies to feel a responsibility to your family and not to even feel comfortable asking. Bring it up in conversation with your nanny. Care about their wellbeing... they are taking care of your prize possession.


3. Parents need to discipline your children.

I constantly wish I could say this. My most recent issue is with Lily's time outs... or lack there of. I get it. It’s hard. But when you decide to have kids you need to realize how much work goes into it. A 3 minute time out may take you 30 minutes the first few times but no kid is going to take time outs happily, that's the point. And if you expect me to discipline her 3 days a week, it won't work if you aren't doing it the other 4. Waiting too long to discipline your kids hurts the issue. Others might tell you the behavior is cute right now but let me tell you a secret: next year they’ll me taking behind your back about what a brat your kid is.

4. Nannies want a raise.

Yes, again, in the most logical and respectful ways. After a year, or even 6 months, a raise would be normal in any profession. And if you've added in another child, a raise would also make sense. I hate when parents wait until I bring it up. I'm terrible at money talk. Please just have respect and don’t make me beg for every dollar. I like to give families the illusion that I would watch their kid for free. No one wants to think their nannies are in it for the cash.

5. They see other nannies yelling at — or ignoring — other children.

I've never seen nanny abuse but I have seen nannies either take advantage of a situation or ignore a child. I see nannies regularly taking the child to the park so they can spend the day with their own kids and leave the child in their stroller for naptime causing hell for anyone who wants the kid to nap in her crib. Some nannies are amazing and some suck. I'm amazed at what people put up with from their employees.

6. That Christmas present? They hated it.

I've loved all the presents I have received. They have always been thoughtful. Except for when I got a $15 gift card for a child I was with 30 hours a week that was a living nightmare. I felt slightly under appreciated but reminded myself that I'm lucky to have a job because many don’t.

7. Your kids need more attention … from you.

Again, my parents are pretty great with their kids, for the most part. But I have come home to my boyfriend and said "I just want to yell "spend more time with your kid!!" There's one family I see randomly and they seem to have a nanny working at all times and rarely even see the children. The mother is now pregnant with a second. I'm speechless. A friend of mind is going back and forth on getting a nanny soon for the newborn or being a stay at home mom. I told the father that you have to be ok with knowing that someone else will see all the firsts. If I were their nanny I would lie, or neglect to divulge information, when I thought it was the first. I like parents to experience that rather than coming home and being like “darn, I missed it.”

8. Your kid has a developmental problem.

Yikes. Been here; A few times. It’s very awkward. Definitely not my place to say a word but I usually try to fit it in politely. Even when asked I usually dance around it and recommend seeing a pro.

9. It is not OK when you don't pay on time.

Unless I'm asked ahead of time, this pisses me off. For obvious reasons.

10. Nannies want to be treated with respect.

It’s ridiculous that this is even on the list. But I guess this includes: Sometimes we are uncomfortable. There is a difference between being casual or even friends with your nanny and making them uncomfortable. I have a dad that is recently making me VERY uncomfortable by walking around with no shirt on and constantly standing too close to me. I'm your 25 year old female nanny... it's weird... back off.

I was googling and I found a few sites that covered more NANNY NEVER TELLS... Reader's Digest has a great one!

Lily needs a nap.

Lily can usually do no wrong in my eyes. Yes, she pooped in a kiddie pool and made for a great laugh but I absolutely love watching her grow up. But she has definitely hits her “Terrible Two’s” or maybe it’s sleep deprivation. She recently got a “big girl bed” which caused for a lot of excitement and a lot of change. Which a new baby at home, Lily’s mother has been incapable of getting Lily to nap during the day. In the beginning of the big girl bed the process could take up to 2 hours unless you timed the walk in the stroller perfectly. I have recently been able to get Lily down for her nap within 15 minutes by calling it ‘quiet time’ but now naps only happen when I am there. Which means after a weekend of not napping, coming in on Tuesday can be rough. I’m not exactly sure how this goes but I personally and not ready for Lily’s naps to be completely gone. She’s only 30 months old. It can’t be ok for her to be awake for 12-13 hours straight. Because of the lack of naps with are now experiencing throwing, crying for no reason, and moodiness. Plus, she ends up so tired she falls asleep in the stroller and then wrecks naps and moods for the entire day. It doesn’t feel like my place to tell the mom that naps are necessary but Lily with out them is kind of a hot mess. What do you think?

The Swing

 

It’s been a while since I’ve mentioned some of my favorite baby products. I’m positive there are a million gizmos out there that mothers and nannies around the globe shutter to think of what it was like before their existence; in the same manor teenagers imagine the world before smart phones. 

Meet Fisher-Price’s Nature’s Touch Cradle Swing. There are several versions out there and I imagine they are all God sent. Let’s face it, newborns don’t know how to settle themselves and sometimes we run out of ideas and our arms simply get exhausted, holding a pacifier in their mouth is awkward and doesn’t always work, but the gentle sway of this swing mixed with the options of nature noises or light piano really does the trick. I’m saying this works most of the time. It’s not a get out of jail free card but it helps. We have been using this with Lily’s new baby sister in cohorts with the vibrating bouncy chair and it makes us all very happy.

If you have any favorite products, let me know! I'd love to give the opportunity for every one to share.

JewelMint

Most women don't have time to shop. But that doesn't mean we don't miss it. Sometimes a great piece of jewerly is exactly what a mom, nanny, or woman in general needs to feel that extra sparkle in her day. Me personally, I'm on a budget, BUT I have found amazing ways to find great pieces for low prices with out spending the day searching. Enter JewelMint. For $29.99 a month you get to pick out an amazing piece of jewelry designed by Kate Bosworth and Cher Coulter. And if there's a particular month that you don't want anything or can't afford it, just let them know by the 6th and you won't be charged for that month. AND they are honest, they aren't trying to trick you into spending money that you don't want to. They actually send you an email to remind you to decline the month around the 4th. Shipping is free and fast and they even suggest outfits for you to wear each piece with. I was nervous about the quality when I first ordered, I mean how good could it be for 30 bucks? Don't doubt it, it's perfect. This doesn't directly connect to nannying but having children, a full time job, or both leaves you very little time for you. JewelMint makes it easy.


Just wanted to share

xoxo

Mornings with Catherine: Sticks and Stones.

 

 

I'm pretty hard on Catherine. I'll be the first to admit that we clash in the morning and choosing not to be her friend during that hour is the only way to make it work. I don't always like Catherine or her behavior but I have a certain love for her. I see her every morning and feel very protective of her. I learned this pretty quickly one morning when I brought Catherine to school and witnessed the bullying that was taking place.

I wasn't in the best of moods after fighting with Catherine all morning, but when I was signing her in to before-school-care two little boys showed me that I needed to be more sensitive and realize that Catherine’s a person too and her life isn’t easy. These two little jocks-in-training started following Catherine around saying "Hey, vampire! Oh look the vampire is here.” The hairs on the back of my neck shot up. I was teased in school for being "too white" among various other things. Growing up in sun kissed Miami, FL didn’t help either.  I vividly remember going to school in 8th grade with a white shirt on and having a group of my friends publicly tease me; saying things like "Hey Candace! Why didn't you wear a shirt today?!". Did they mean to scar me for life? Probably not, but I didn't wear shorts until my last semester of college. In fact, I still shy away from them. And I've been shaving my arms since 7th grade because of the comments about how black my hair was against my white skin. I don't remember what it looks like to have hair on my arms. I probably never will.

I wanted to kill those two little boys in that instant. I didn't want to leave the school and what was even more horrifying to me was that the teacher heard this and did nothing. I tried to check myself by thinking maybe being a vampire is a good thing now with this entire Twilight craze but it wasn’t. Their tone was awful. I decided that since I'm only the nanny, I needed to talk to the mom before ripping the boys and the teacher a new one. I called Catherine's mom immediately and she said she would talk to Catherine about it and thanked me for calling. She didn’t really seem to have the same reaction as me. I was fuming all day; reliving my own experiences and wishing I could shelter Catherine from all that pain. Not to mention the haunting thoughts about how much worse it will feel when it is my own child.

Her mom texted me later that night saying that Catherine didn't seem phased by it. But in my heart I still know she is. She refuses to wear shorts, skirts, or anything without long sleeves and she went through a period of time where she was drawing vampires a lot. Both go unexplained. I guess kids are mean and it’s a harsh thing we all have to deal with. The only way to protect a child is by arming them with confidence; reminding them how beautiful and special they are. As well as making sure they aren't the one bullying.

Maybe those kids built character in both Catherine and I. Maybe we are the better people because we have those internal scars. Maybe kids won't ever be nice to each other; adults have a hard enough time. But at the end of the day we can't stay blissfully unaware of their pains. We have to remember it’s out there and be careful with the things we do and say. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a fairytale. And while some may be strong enough to actually live by that, most of us have carried those thoughtless and cruel remarks with us into adulthood. Remarks that the other person may have never thought twice about.

Maybe this post wasn’t funny and won't be a favorite amongst readers, but I can’t stand by without asking everyone to think twice.

I have listed some website on bullying below.

Stop Bullying Now!

Kid's Health- Bullying and Emotions

Thank you!
C