WubbaNub Wonders

WubbaNub Infant Toy Pacifier is brilliant. Or at least it sounds brilliant. Today, over coffee, I was talking to my friend Haley. She is a nanny as well and we love to meet up with the kids when we can. A nanny date. I had Dolly with me and I was telling Haley how she can’t seem to hold the pacifier. She wants it but her tongue automatically kicks it out of her mouth. Haley told me that one of her family members had used this product and loved it. It looks perfect! Dolly will be able to hold the animal while soothing herself with the pacifier. You can choose from a large variety of animals. I will be telling Dolly’s mom about it ASAP, but wanted to make sure I shared the information with you!

Have any of you used a WubbaNub before?


 **I had some responses concerning the possible long-term issues with WubbaNubs. Some people are against pacifiers in general. Both the dependence on something that externally soothes and the future orthodontic worries are sound arguments. Or even the possibility that the child may become attached and you now have a toddler with a toy hanging out of its mouth. I believe, like most things, it’s a personal choice. WubbaNubs, or pacifiers in general, may not be for you but I wanted to post them just in case the readers that love pacifiers were looking for options. Thank you so much for your feedback! The more this blog becomes interactive the better! It takes a village… or world wide web community.

No Pictures Please!

Recently, my friends baptized their baby boy. The father’s side of the family lives in New York and naturally; most of his family had not seen the baby yet. They took this opportunity to fly the 3,000-and-some miles to see Charles’ 4 moths old. He is cute. Damn cute. Because of the churches schedule the Baptism was at 2pm. I thought that this may be a rough time for the 4-month-old given that it is directly in the middle of prime napping time... I walked into this worried. But its one day. How bad could it be?

Bad.

There may have been 30 family members. The baby was being passed around, much to the mother’s dismay, and photos were constant. The baby HATED the flashes but the family continued. It’s just a crying baby and this moment won’t happen again. I get it. But soon the baby started to turn bright red on his arms and legs. So bad, some assumed that he was sun burned. I wondered how a baby could be so sun burned but I figure it was best to stay out of the way. I’ll see the family again soon and this is more of a family moment. Afterward, everyone harped on the mother, begging her to wake the baby so they could see him. She was completely overwhelmed and trying to be a people-pleaser but knew the baby hated every minute. After a while she pried him out of the Mother-in-laws arms. Charles caught on and whisked her and the baby up stairs.

A few days later, Jeff came home from work and said that Charles and his wife had to take the baby to the emergency room the day after the Baptism. He had broken out in a rash and hives of some sort. After every test in the book, and stressing the parents out beyond belief, the doctors gave Charles a topical cream and said the baby was just over whelmed. It went away in a few days and everything was fine but it really made me more aware of these situations. Babies will tell us how they feel.  Their bodies are tiny and they are overwhelmed easily. And mothers do know best! I wanted to share this just so that everyone hears a story like this and keeps in it the back of their mind and maybe even help some mothers feel more confident in their gut instincts.

Friday Night with the Girls

It’s been a while since I just told a funny story so I thought I’d share my Friday night with you guys.

 

I have been annoying ill for the last 6-8 weeks on and off. But Thursday through Sunday was exceptionally rough for me. I had promised Lily and Dolly’s parents that I would baby-sit for them all day Friday since their friends were in town. So from 9am until midnight I was there as promised. Coughing my brains out. So by the time their friends showed up at 6pm I was ready to get out of the house. I, in my disillusioned mind, asked to take the girls out for dinner. Lily is almost 3 and Dolly is 4 months. Lily kept saying she wanted to go to “The Dolphin” so her father gave me directions. After prying Lily away from every toy in the house we were finally in the car and on our way. We pulled up to “The Dolphin” which is actually the Bluewater Grill, a nice restaurant on the water in the South Bay. I almost choked. Me and 2 babies, at nice restaurant, during feeding time. Dear Lord. As I was getting the girls out of the car, my favorite work jeans split. Ok. Well, that seems about right. I called my boyfriend and begged him to drive as fast as humanly possible to the restaurant with jeans and save me. We had a 3o minute wait and by the time he got there we were all at our ends. Dolly had been given her bottle but had no desire to take her nap and Lily was hungry and seriously tempted by the elevator in the corner. After a quick change we were led to our table. Waitresses crowded around, telling us how beautiful "our" babies were asking questions like, “What’s their sign?” J had no idea what to do with himself. He was nervous and shocked by the amount of attention two pretty little girls can get. Literal crowds were forming as we ordered as quickly as possible and shuffled the girls back and forth, keeping the peace. And then my favorite onlooker came. The hostess came up to tell us that her brother was sitting near by with his two little boys that she was now marrying our girls off to. J was floored. Why in the world do people feel so comfortable talking to people with babies?? I had to explain to him that it’s always better to nod and smile. (See The Awkwardness) And then in the middle of our dinner the sister-in-law actually came over to meet our two little babies to see who her future daughters would be. We smiled and made light conversation. All the while realizing this night was the best form of birth control either one of us could have brought to the table. After our meal, J helped me put Lily in the car as I secured an exhausted Dolly. I kissed him goodbye and we all went on our way. The girls were in PJs and asleep within 15 minutes of getting home. All in all the night was a success and eventually J and I would love to have healthy pretty little girls of our own… but for now... we’re good.

Tiger Mom.. I'm with you.

What I’m about to say may be taken wrong, but before everyone clicks the X at the top of your screen, have patience and hear me out.

I was catching up on my Real Time with Bill Maher episodes this weekend, and I saw a brief but enlightening interview with Tiger Momma Amy Chua. I have only heard horrible things about her. Things like she calls her children garbage. Which is a lie. In fact, Kevin’s mom released a fiction novel into the Asian community at the same time that the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom was released. Majority of her press revolved around Amy Chua questions in which she hated and ran from. In my opinion she probably would have sold more books if she answered those questions and maybe it was even a cosmic way of the world telling her she needed to read that book.  ANYWAYS… There is something to be said about her outlook on raising a child. I’m not saying it’s “right” or the “only way” but I’m saying that I agree with her in the aspect that children of this generation seem to have an unwarranted amount of self-confidence and self-esteem. They are beyond proud of themselves before they even accomplish something. That is assuming they actually find it necessary to accomplish something at all. Achievement needs to come before self-esteem. I’m not sure if it’s the guilt of a dual working parent situation or if it’s just people afraid of their kids crying but it’s a freaking mess. Yes, a FREAKING MESS! Her point was eloquently put when she said something along the lines of “you can’t play Mozart if you can’t play in tune”. There has to be a balance between letting your children be creative and “who they are meant to be” and be disciplined. They have to learn respect, manners, and work ethic. Otherwise what kind of world will we have in 30 years? Not one that I want to live in.

As you all may know, I spend my mornings with a 5 year old, and every day before 8am I “hate” at least 4-5 things. Today I couldn’t even bare to speak in the child’s home because I was nauseated by how the mother was allowing her daughter to treat me. When she finally got to school she was rude to the teacher, who was trying to be as nice as possible. I took Catherine aside and said “Look, that was mean. You can’t ignore people. If you want to be known as the sweet, nice, polite girl you actually have to act sweet, nice, and polite. You can’t ignore people and be rude.” I told her to spend the day working on saying please, thank you, and no thank you and to think about treating people the way she wants to be treated. I really wanted to walk out of the job and never ever come back. In fact even my beloved Lily will say "Look KiKi! I'm so good at this! I'm so good!" all day regardless of what she is doing or how she is doing it.

My mother used to say things like “I love you but that doesn’t mean I have to like you.” and “If you don’t like me it means I’m doing my job.” I HATED her for those comments but now I see how right she is. I’m picking up a copy of Amy Chua’s book this week.

I included the interview below in case any of you are curious. ☺

Mabel's Labels

I was watching The View today and they did a little segment on what’s hot for the summer. One of the things caught my attention: Mabel’s Labels. Mabel’s Labels sells personalized wristbands that look similar to hospital bracelets or bar bands (What?! They do!).  They website lists several other types of labels available, as well. But the wristbands are water proof and can be designed to list allergies, phone numbers, and more. These are great for field trips, beach days, days at Disney World, and summer camp. I highly recommend you check it out!

Oh Hay Stranger!

I've come to realize that children have a sixth sense. They can spot a child lover a mile away. Erasing all normal fears and limitations.


This weekend my sister was in town. She was shocked by the car seats in the back of my Ford Escape. She had heard they were there but I guess it's different when you actually see a booster seat and a car seat in the back of your single little sisters car. But that was nothing compared to lunch in Malibu. Out of nowhere a little boy, Anthony (probably 21 months old), decided that we should be best friends. He later decided that we should share my chair. I humored the little boy, saying hello and hi repeatedly, but my sister made a cardinal mistake when she actually told the Malibu Mom that I was a nanny. The mom completely stopped even calling out the little boys name. So, after practicing colors and I taught him how to rip open a packet of sugar. Bon Voyage!

P.S. My sister told me I was wrong to show him how sugar comes out of a sugar packet but I have no regrets.

Sh*t My Kids Ruined . Com

http://shitmykidsruined.com/

I can not get enough of this site. So, I thought I would share. Be prepared to waste at least a solid hour clicking through photos of disasters children have left behind.

Favorite Things - Video Baby Monitor

When I first posted a few of my favorite things I asked for people to let me in on their must haves. I received responses with a few amazing products. The Sleep Sheep is one of my favorites but the product that I should have listed all along was the video baby monitor! This invention has saved so many mothers and nannies from opening the door at the wrong moment and ruining the likes of naptime. Of course we want to be able to see that everything is ok. Just hearing snoring or nothing at all makes us stand with the monitor up to our ear like a telephone and has lost parents hours of sleep. Quiet Sounds has a monitor available for $139. It’s really all you need, but it you are tech savvy or maybe overprotective and want a TV screen sized image of your baby sleeping those are available as well. Finally, spy gear used for a practical purpose! I suggest buying a video baby monitor at a well-known chain, such as Target. This way if it has any glitches you can have the comfort of amazing customer service.

The Awkwardness...

 

It happens all the time; people on the street, and even in gymboree,  think that I’m a young mother. I’m a small white girl in my mid-twenties walking around a nice neighborhood with a 2-year-old matching baby. We both have brown hair and green eyes so naturally people assume that I am Lily’s mother. But it’s not limited to Lily; I had the same conversations while with Kevin, an Asian baby. I think the main thing is that people have a stereotype of what a nanny looks like and frankly I’m not it. So, what do I do in these awkward moments? Well, usually I just go with it. 

If the person is someone you are only going to see for a few minutes, some times it’s not worth correcting them and then being asked your life story or making them feel awkward. Obviously, it would be creepy to take on a child as my own in some pretend world but when it comes to a grandmother at the playground talking about how she is so glad to see a mom at the play ground when all she normally sees is “day workers”… it’s better to smile and nod.

Show Me The Money

Working as a part-time nanny poses many hurdles. I would argue that the number one hurdle revolves around money.  For some unknown reason, at least to me, parents that work with “part-time” nannies are always trying to pull a fast one; whether they are aware of it or not. Here is my personal example.

I have been working with Lily’s family for over a year and a half now. When I met them Lily was about 13 months old and just learning to run around. I see them 3 days a week, every week, and have done numerous overnights with Lily. In all of this time, I have never been offered a raise. Yes, I did receive a little extra money for Christmas both years and a Starbucks gift card on my birthday but no raise. I never really expected one until baby number two came along.

Last summer, I started to feel like something was up. I mentioned the awkwardness and was told they loved me and everything was fine. A few weeks later, infant socks were on the counter and then one day a sonogram was floating around. I had a full on panic attack. I thought maybe they weren't telling me because they were thinking of firing me, or maybe they just wanted to wait until she was past the first trimester. I’ve never had a child; I don’t know how this “I’m having a baby!” thing works?! They decided to finally tell me in August when Lily’s mom was visibly 6 months pregnant . Mainly because family was coming in town for Lily’s birthday and they knew the cat would crawl out of the bag. I acted surprised.

You would think that the “we’re having another baby for you to watch” money conversation would happen soon after that, but no. It finally happened 2 weeks ago after I had watched both babies together and was not paid for it. I brought it up to Lily’s mother and she said they were trying to figure it out. I was patient. They finally decided on a $2 raise for the hours that I had both children. I basically said I thought that was ridiculous in the nicest way possible. and then came home and cried to my boyfriend. (Super mature, I know.) I’m scheduled to watch both kids next week… I really have no idea what I will be paid.

Here’s the truth: I’m AWFUL with money conversations. I avoid them all the time. My advice is to have these conversations with all of the “what if’s” when you first get started. Possibly avoiding all of the nonsense that I am currently caught in the middle of.

I love this family dearly but I feel a lack of respect at the end of the day. I have spent countless hours with Lily. I introduced Lily to her baby sister. We have recently put a car seat in my car for her and added chores into my routine. In any profession you would expect some form of a raise within a year and a half, especially if the work load doubles. Parents working with part-time nannies tend to play on the guilt of how expensive everything else is. But you must be strong!!

The moral of the story comes down to advice from You’ve Got Mail, or The Godfather depending on whom you are talking to: IT’S NOT PERSONAL IT’S BUSINESS!

So, take it to the mattresses. Get down to business. Be bold. But playing nice with these situations never gets you very far. Trust me.
 

*And for the parents out there, try to do the math. Put yourself in your nannies shoes or at least ask yourself how much your peace of mind is worth.

Ten Things...

 Be The Best Nanny  released a list of the top ten things your nanny will never tell you.

I decided to respond.


1. Nannies are not your maid.

To a certain extent, nannies feel the responsibility/want to clean up around the areas the child has destroyed but no, we're not maids. This is not the Real Housewives of Miami, we do not clean out your closet. Most of my families luck out because I'm a complete OCD neat freak when it comes to certain things but I have actually been reprimanded in the past for cleaning up. If you expect your nanny to deep clean, you need to have that conversation at the interview. Like cooking, some nannies might not be into it.

2. Nannies need a vacation.

Yes! Here's my issue. I'm "part time" with 2 families but really I see one family 5 days a week (every morning at 6:45am) and the other 3 (normally Tues, Thursday, and Friday). A vacation would be amazing and a possibly once a year paid vacation would probably bring me to tears. It’s easy for nannies to feel a responsibility to your family and not to even feel comfortable asking. Bring it up in conversation with your nanny. Care about their wellbeing... they are taking care of your prize possession.


3. Parents need to discipline your children.

I constantly wish I could say this. My most recent issue is with Lily's time outs... or lack there of. I get it. It’s hard. But when you decide to have kids you need to realize how much work goes into it. A 3 minute time out may take you 30 minutes the first few times but no kid is going to take time outs happily, that's the point. And if you expect me to discipline her 3 days a week, it won't work if you aren't doing it the other 4. Waiting too long to discipline your kids hurts the issue. Others might tell you the behavior is cute right now but let me tell you a secret: next year they’ll me taking behind your back about what a brat your kid is.

4. Nannies want a raise.

Yes, again, in the most logical and respectful ways. After a year, or even 6 months, a raise would be normal in any profession. And if you've added in another child, a raise would also make sense. I hate when parents wait until I bring it up. I'm terrible at money talk. Please just have respect and don’t make me beg for every dollar. I like to give families the illusion that I would watch their kid for free. No one wants to think their nannies are in it for the cash.

5. They see other nannies yelling at — or ignoring — other children.

I've never seen nanny abuse but I have seen nannies either take advantage of a situation or ignore a child. I see nannies regularly taking the child to the park so they can spend the day with their own kids and leave the child in their stroller for naptime causing hell for anyone who wants the kid to nap in her crib. Some nannies are amazing and some suck. I'm amazed at what people put up with from their employees.

6. That Christmas present? They hated it.

I've loved all the presents I have received. They have always been thoughtful. Except for when I got a $15 gift card for a child I was with 30 hours a week that was a living nightmare. I felt slightly under appreciated but reminded myself that I'm lucky to have a job because many don’t.

7. Your kids need more attention … from you.

Again, my parents are pretty great with their kids, for the most part. But I have come home to my boyfriend and said "I just want to yell "spend more time with your kid!!" There's one family I see randomly and they seem to have a nanny working at all times and rarely even see the children. The mother is now pregnant with a second. I'm speechless. A friend of mind is going back and forth on getting a nanny soon for the newborn or being a stay at home mom. I told the father that you have to be ok with knowing that someone else will see all the firsts. If I were their nanny I would lie, or neglect to divulge information, when I thought it was the first. I like parents to experience that rather than coming home and being like “darn, I missed it.”

8. Your kid has a developmental problem.

Yikes. Been here; A few times. It’s very awkward. Definitely not my place to say a word but I usually try to fit it in politely. Even when asked I usually dance around it and recommend seeing a pro.

9. It is not OK when you don't pay on time.

Unless I'm asked ahead of time, this pisses me off. For obvious reasons.

10. Nannies want to be treated with respect.

It’s ridiculous that this is even on the list. But I guess this includes: Sometimes we are uncomfortable. There is a difference between being casual or even friends with your nanny and making them uncomfortable. I have a dad that is recently making me VERY uncomfortable by walking around with no shirt on and constantly standing too close to me. I'm your 25 year old female nanny... it's weird... back off.

I was googling and I found a few sites that covered more NANNY NEVER TELLS... Reader's Digest has a great one!

Lily needs a nap.

Lily can usually do no wrong in my eyes. Yes, she pooped in a kiddie pool and made for a great laugh but I absolutely love watching her grow up. But she has definitely hits her “Terrible Two’s” or maybe it’s sleep deprivation. She recently got a “big girl bed” which caused for a lot of excitement and a lot of change. Which a new baby at home, Lily’s mother has been incapable of getting Lily to nap during the day. In the beginning of the big girl bed the process could take up to 2 hours unless you timed the walk in the stroller perfectly. I have recently been able to get Lily down for her nap within 15 minutes by calling it ‘quiet time’ but now naps only happen when I am there. Which means after a weekend of not napping, coming in on Tuesday can be rough. I’m not exactly sure how this goes but I personally and not ready for Lily’s naps to be completely gone. She’s only 30 months old. It can’t be ok for her to be awake for 12-13 hours straight. Because of the lack of naps with are now experiencing throwing, crying for no reason, and moodiness. Plus, she ends up so tired she falls asleep in the stroller and then wrecks naps and moods for the entire day. It doesn’t feel like my place to tell the mom that naps are necessary but Lily with out them is kind of a hot mess. What do you think?

The Swing

 

It’s been a while since I’ve mentioned some of my favorite baby products. I’m positive there are a million gizmos out there that mothers and nannies around the globe shutter to think of what it was like before their existence; in the same manor teenagers imagine the world before smart phones. 

Meet Fisher-Price’s Nature’s Touch Cradle Swing. There are several versions out there and I imagine they are all God sent. Let’s face it, newborns don’t know how to settle themselves and sometimes we run out of ideas and our arms simply get exhausted, holding a pacifier in their mouth is awkward and doesn’t always work, but the gentle sway of this swing mixed with the options of nature noises or light piano really does the trick. I’m saying this works most of the time. It’s not a get out of jail free card but it helps. We have been using this with Lily’s new baby sister in cohorts with the vibrating bouncy chair and it makes us all very happy.

If you have any favorite products, let me know! I'd love to give the opportunity for every one to share.

JewelMint

Most women don't have time to shop. But that doesn't mean we don't miss it. Sometimes a great piece of jewerly is exactly what a mom, nanny, or woman in general needs to feel that extra sparkle in her day. Me personally, I'm on a budget, BUT I have found amazing ways to find great pieces for low prices with out spending the day searching. Enter JewelMint. For $29.99 a month you get to pick out an amazing piece of jewelry designed by Kate Bosworth and Cher Coulter. And if there's a particular month that you don't want anything or can't afford it, just let them know by the 6th and you won't be charged for that month. AND they are honest, they aren't trying to trick you into spending money that you don't want to. They actually send you an email to remind you to decline the month around the 4th. Shipping is free and fast and they even suggest outfits for you to wear each piece with. I was nervous about the quality when I first ordered, I mean how good could it be for 30 bucks? Don't doubt it, it's perfect. This doesn't directly connect to nannying but having children, a full time job, or both leaves you very little time for you. JewelMint makes it easy.


Just wanted to share

xoxo

Mornings with Catherine: Sticks and Stones.

 

 

I'm pretty hard on Catherine. I'll be the first to admit that we clash in the morning and choosing not to be her friend during that hour is the only way to make it work. I don't always like Catherine or her behavior but I have a certain love for her. I see her every morning and feel very protective of her. I learned this pretty quickly one morning when I brought Catherine to school and witnessed the bullying that was taking place.

I wasn't in the best of moods after fighting with Catherine all morning, but when I was signing her in to before-school-care two little boys showed me that I needed to be more sensitive and realize that Catherine’s a person too and her life isn’t easy. These two little jocks-in-training started following Catherine around saying "Hey, vampire! Oh look the vampire is here.” The hairs on the back of my neck shot up. I was teased in school for being "too white" among various other things. Growing up in sun kissed Miami, FL didn’t help either.  I vividly remember going to school in 8th grade with a white shirt on and having a group of my friends publicly tease me; saying things like "Hey Candace! Why didn't you wear a shirt today?!". Did they mean to scar me for life? Probably not, but I didn't wear shorts until my last semester of college. In fact, I still shy away from them. And I've been shaving my arms since 7th grade because of the comments about how black my hair was against my white skin. I don't remember what it looks like to have hair on my arms. I probably never will.

I wanted to kill those two little boys in that instant. I didn't want to leave the school and what was even more horrifying to me was that the teacher heard this and did nothing. I tried to check myself by thinking maybe being a vampire is a good thing now with this entire Twilight craze but it wasn’t. Their tone was awful. I decided that since I'm only the nanny, I needed to talk to the mom before ripping the boys and the teacher a new one. I called Catherine's mom immediately and she said she would talk to Catherine about it and thanked me for calling. She didn’t really seem to have the same reaction as me. I was fuming all day; reliving my own experiences and wishing I could shelter Catherine from all that pain. Not to mention the haunting thoughts about how much worse it will feel when it is my own child.

Her mom texted me later that night saying that Catherine didn't seem phased by it. But in my heart I still know she is. She refuses to wear shorts, skirts, or anything without long sleeves and she went through a period of time where she was drawing vampires a lot. Both go unexplained. I guess kids are mean and it’s a harsh thing we all have to deal with. The only way to protect a child is by arming them with confidence; reminding them how beautiful and special they are. As well as making sure they aren't the one bullying.

Maybe those kids built character in both Catherine and I. Maybe we are the better people because we have those internal scars. Maybe kids won't ever be nice to each other; adults have a hard enough time. But at the end of the day we can't stay blissfully unaware of their pains. We have to remember it’s out there and be careful with the things we do and say. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a fairytale. And while some may be strong enough to actually live by that, most of us have carried those thoughtless and cruel remarks with us into adulthood. Remarks that the other person may have never thought twice about.

Maybe this post wasn’t funny and won't be a favorite amongst readers, but I can’t stand by without asking everyone to think twice.

I have listed some website on bullying below.

Stop Bullying Now!

Kid's Health- Bullying and Emotions

Thank you!
C